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Thread: Not my home

  1. #1
    Guest
    I went 3 years without harming myself but in the past week I've hurt myself twice. I really don't know how much more of this I can take. I haven;t seen my therapist for a month, havent's seen my shrink for about 2 months, I don't have a new therapist set up yet. This chat is the only support I can get but now tht I'm 'home' I'm constantly being kicked off the computer.
    I hate it here. My Dad and brother are terrible. My brother stole like 20 of my klonopin, he steals anything he can get. My Dad is not a good father, violence is his solution to everything. All he did about my brother's stealing was yell at him and threaten to beat him up. Nothing is done. I'll have to call the police and report it because I am not letting this go, he should be in rehab or something.
    My brother lies about everything no matter how obvious it is. Like the pot pipe I found in his pillowcase, can't be his. And even though the ashes in the ashtray don't smeall like tobacco he's not doing weed. And the jewelery found in his closet, he didn't steal it, never was in HIS room. Full of BS and he's just as bad as Dad... cussing me out everytime he sees me, call me a dumb c*nt, d**sh bag, lying bitch, druggy and attention seeker. I'm gonna slap him silly if he calls me c*nt again. I was stuck home alone with him for hours today. Scared me shitless, he's out of control.
    My Dad still goes on about how I'm lazy, don't do anything, basically useless even though I got a job now. Refuses to aknowledge that I have anything but a 'piss poor attitude'. I don't need to be torn down.
    The tension in the air is choking me. Those of ou who have been following my blog or talked to me in chat know I have to comfort zone where I can run to and be left alone. My Dad's constant verbal abuse is killing me, reminding me of unhappy times in my childhood like how he'd shout loud enough to shake the walls, getting welts on the backs of my thighs from being hit by an arrow shaft, being kicked, getting overpunished for some minor offense, how ridiculously strict he was and the scathing shit he'd say to me when drunk. Made me feel less than human a times. No wonder why I may have depersonalization disorder

    I don't belong here, I really don't belong here. Someone get me the hell outta here.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    New South Wales, Australia
    Posts
    428
    Oh LazeyWinde :blink:

    I feel for you Lazey. Get some money saved up as quickly as you can and get the hell out of your family home and away from those negative people. You'll feel so much better when you're settled in your own flat/house with your darling kitty.

    That's great news you've got yourself a job. I haven't been in chat for a little while so haven't heard about your new job.

    Start saving as quickly as you can. Being with your family doesn't sound like it's good for you at all.

    Thinking of you sweetie
    Petal

    This is your kitty in your new home, soon to be.
    <span style='color:purple'>[i]A kitty curled up on your bed with you makes you complete.[/i]</span>


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  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    3,575
    DEAR LAZEY
    FFS WOMAN YE NEED TO GET OOT THT MAD HOOSE ASAP ,YEA I KNOW EASIER SAID THAN DONE ,BUT LIKE PETAL SAYS TRY START SAVING NOW JESUS EVEN IF IT'S ONLY FOR A BLOODY TENT YE NEED TO GET AWAY FROM THT LOONIE BROTHER O YOURS .TELL THE LITTLE A**EHOLE IF I WISSNA AGORAPHOBIC I SWEAR TO YE I WID COME STRAIGHT OVER THERE AND KNOCK THE PURE CRAP OOT O HIM
    LOVE DIANE
    THTS WHT HE NEEDS THEN AFTER THAT THIS ME WI MA GUN TO SHOT THE LITTLE BA****D PMSL

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    UK Devon
    Posts
    1,125
    Hi lazey
    Like everyone here has said my sweet get the hell out of there as soon as you can get the money saved up and out the door as soon as. Is there anyone you can turn too lazey a friend or other family member. Or is the anything the state can do to help you find alternative accommodation remember we are thinking about you lazey bless your heart.
    love
    Anna
    xxxx
    here wack him one lol !!!!

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    england
    Posts
    250
    dear lazeywindeBEE

    you have said from the begining that moving back to your family home coulf cause problems and im so sorry you were right, you so desirve much better then what you getting there, i know how hard things are at the moment for you and yesterday when your brother was getting on your nurves i wish i could have been there with you so i could hold him whylst you get revenge he he
    i hope that you can get out of there as soon as possable because you desirve to be happy
    im sorry i couldent be there for you yesterday as you know things are also difficult here

    i wish you the best of luck and i hope you can find it in your self to smile everyday you are doing really well working and i know you really like your job

    you are a great woman to great to be stuck with the evil ones xxxx
    huggles
    best wishes coming your way bee
    love me!
    best wishes coming your way friends!

    Thought i was lost now im found, Found by the devil upon his sorrow ground.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    227
    Dearest Lazey

    I am so sorry for you that you are in such a terrible situation, I cannot even imagine what it is like for you, but from your post, it seems very very bad, I wish I could do something to help you, I know we all do. Like everyone has said, I hope that things are going well in your new job, and that you will be able to save up enough money to get the hell out of there.

    My thoughts are with you Lazey and best wishes for a more pleasant future.
    Take good care of yourself Lazey, it is when others are so horrible to us that we need to be extra extra kind to ourselves.



    Lottsa luv

    Libby
    xxxxx
    Never look down on anybody unless you're helping them up.
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  7. #7
    Guest
    Thanks to you guys here and those that supported me in chat. You're all great people. *Huggles* I only wish I lived closer to you, I'd bang on your doors and sleep on your couches. lol

    Well my sister is moving out in 2 weeks (No, I can't live with her) so I can get her room so at least I won't be sleeping in the living room anymore.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    uk
    Posts
    437
    lazey you need your own space so maybe getting yor own room might help for awhile but you really need to get out . so many put downs isn't helping you at all,people like that only do it because they have the problems not you.
    take care DPx.

 

 

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