I just feel that my family would be better off if I were dead. They would have one less person to care about, one less person to disappoint them and they wouldn't have to waste
their time telling me how much of a disappointment I am to them. They wouldn't have to waste their money on me or spend time with me cos they feel that it's their 'duty' to.
It's like i can't do anything to please them. They never listen to what I have to say and they never ask for my opinions about anything. It's as though I'm invisible the whole time and only appear to them when I've done something wrong.

I stay in my room most of the time to avoid them. I've never really tried talking to them cos I know that they really don't care about what's going on in my life and the problems
I'm facing and they're always busy. Sometimes I feel so lonely cos I don't have anyone to talk to that I just stay in my room and cry.

I never really had that many friends like my brother. Once, I prayed to God that he'd give me more friends so I won't have to be the only one who has to wait for a group to pick
me when we're doing group work in class. Two weeks later during my family cell group, there was a guest pastor who came. He started telling us the plans that God had for us
and when it came to my turn he said, "God has heard your prayer about wanting more friends."

I was so humilitated cos everyone was staring at me and giving me that look as though I was some pitiful loser that had no friends. Like that wasn't enough my brother made fun of me the next day about having no friends and I felt so emabarrassed and horrible that I stayed mostly in my room for a week.

From then on I've never really talked about any of my problems to anyone.

I feel so alone at times that I wonder if killing myself would really cause any difference in the lives of those around me. I don't know why I'm alive. I've never really been of any use to anyone. I feel like I'm some sort of a burden to my family and that they wouldn't really care if I were dead. I feel like nobody really cares about you or wants to listen to your problems and shrinks get paid just to listen to you but they don't care. They're just there cos they have some sort of degree or something and it pays well.

Help.