sometimes i just get these feelings of being the only ME in the world. Even though it's good to be yourself, there are times i wish other people could be me and feel what i feel. Im always experiencing thoughts of un realness, if that's even conceivable. but i feel out of myself at times like everything around me isnt real or how it should be. Then i have thought's that there is always going to be bad things happening to me or the world in general, like if i see bad things on the news or see people being mean to others it gets in my head and causes me to panic like everything is wrong.
Anytime i get a pain in my body i start to think im dying and i really dont like the feeling because of its suddeness. Its all so overwhelming all the time, i dont like to go places very long or around big crowds of people like the mall or restaraunts because i dont know how ill react. loudness seems to bother me and also variations of lights so from dark to bright bothers me. My eyes are like a crystal blue color and the eye dr says my vision is something unatural so maybe that explains the light problem but all these overwhelming feelings pilled throught a day really takes a toll on me.
I just dont want to feel alone!