I could sit here and type my whole life story detailing how "normal" I used to be a year ago before the panic, anxiety, and depression kicked in, but that would only be a little different than the 1000 other "how could this have happened to me" stories. You can also try to explain all you want about these conditions to someone who cannot relate, but they will never fully understand how it feels because they have never felt the feelings we have. They have never felt out of control, they have never wondered where these "crazy" thoughts come from, they have never wondered if they have the self control not to harm themselves or someone else, they have never ached inside their heart so badly that they sincerely did not want to live.. So, for me, what is most important is now WHAT is happening, but WHY it happens. I am by no means healed from these symptoms and disorders. I am on my own road to recovery, but I am taking with me something very important. In my heart, I believe this happened for a reason. I know that one day I will be able to help someone, and relate to someone who is going through the same thing I am. I know that it is hard to go through, I know there seems like no end. I know it hurts to remember the "old" you. But that person is still in there, dont let go of them. One day you will look back at this and say, If I was strong enough to get through that, then God can throw whatever he wants at me. Your biggest obstacle is your own anxiety.

I still have symptoms, I still worry about relapsing, and over analyze my feelings, searching for a sign that my panic and depression are creeping up on me, and sometimes I feel awful, but I will be okay. I will not let this stupid monster beat me.

I hope these words of encouragement can help someone else