Hi, i am 24/F and have been suffering from anxiety and depression for a couple of years now. I seem to have OCD, constant repetitive irrational thoughts and hyperscrupulosity after doing some research and seeing a physiatrist this is what it seems to be to me.

i can’t shake these obsessive compulsive irrational thoughts and its really getting me down and im not living a normal care free life like i used to. im not even sure if the repetitive events/images in my head really happend or if my mind is just making these up to make me feel bad and guilty over somthing i either didnt do or shouldnt feel bad about. for years ive had this type of ocd and other types of ocd but its become worse. this one irrational thought has been with me and haunting me for over 2 years now. and i dont know where it has come from. im to terrified to talk to a therapist about it as i feel they would think im a freak and a bit sick. but im not. im nothing like my thoughts. i opend up to a physiatrist once and tought i had got rid of the thought for good but its back. i feel like i have to repeat in detail the offensive event (real or not) to the therapist just to make them understand what this thought is and to gain some sort of relese from this ofeensive thought by sharing every detail with the therapist.
i just want a clear head again and to be anxiety free. I’m sick off these uncontrollable panic attacks. its effecting my health and whole life! and im in permenant fear that this will never leave my head....a evil shadow for life clinging on to me