you are trying to destroy yourself to get the attention of people around you but this will make them fear to be with you. Remember that you are not the only person with problems and the people around are not so strong to help you and they will disappoint you. the best for you is to get help from professional person and group therapy and if needed you should face the problem with your parents in front of a psychanalyst. if you want the people around you to love you, start by loving yourself and be more self confident in your action and behavior and fight your weaknesses and fears.