Throughout my whole life I've found it hard to lose weight, in fact probably this time last year I was complaining about constantly fluxing between 10stone 2lbs and 9stone 8lbs.
Since October last year I've been steadily (unintentionally) losing weight. It started as a sudden drop of about 4lbs from the beginning of October to the end of it. I went to the doctor with my concerns, I've never lost that much weight so suddenly before, there was no reason I should be losing weight (I'm usually sat in my room all day, and I eat a solid 3 meals a day plus snacks), but the doctor weighed me, acknowledged the fact I have anxiety and said "You're a healthy weight, you're fine." and sent me on my way.
I stayed at a steady 9stone 2lbs for about 3-4 months, but then I had a tooth out. In the week I couldn't eat properly I lost half a stone. I was down to 8stone 6lbs and I was beginning to really worry. I found it impossible to put the weight back on to get back up to the 9stone 2lbs I was comfortable at, but my family disregarded my worries and complaints of being to skinny, telling me I should feel lucky as they all have trouble losing weight themselves.
Due to financial troubles recently I had little to eat for a fortnight. I'm now down to almost 8stone, I look in the mirror and my top half looks near skeletal and it SCARES me. I'm absolutely terrified of becoming so skinny that they have to send me to hospital, and I've been expressing these concerns since the moment I started losing weight. I was almost in tears this morning as I got out of the shower, looking myself over in the mirror and seeing how little there was left of me.
Just the other day when my aunt visited, she mentioned how skinny I was looking, and actually called my mum up later in the day to tell her how worried she was that I was looking so skeletal. My mum decided to get concerned then. Now everyone else is concerned, I'm decidedly more panicked. It's one thing for you to notice a change and worry, but its something else completely for your family to notice and be so concerned that they ask you if you're eating and buy you vitamin/protein shakes to drink alongside your meals.
I have a doctors appointment early tomorrow, but I'm terrified that they'll send me away telling me I'm fine. And if they don't, that the tests that come back will tell me I have something awful.
I just want to be able to gain weight and get back up to a size and shape that I'm comfortable with.