Hi everyone! My names Ashley, I'm 23 and reside in NJ. I've been in and out of a panic attack for the past few hours and decided to take it upon myself to Google Panic/Anxiety forums/chats. I came along this site, and figured it seemed like a good fit. To start off my introduction, I'd like to give a bit information on the mental illnesses I've been dealing with since an early age. At the mere age of 6, due to a rape from my mothers best friends son, I've dealt with panic and anxiety disorder, and OCD. In my teens, I later developed depression and traits of Borderline Personality Disorder. Other past events in my life (such as my mothers alcoholism, deaths in the family, my father and mothers abusive relationship) to name a few, have also contributed to severity of my illnesses. I've come a very long way with learning how to cope with my issues, and the tactics to battle them, but as of lately, my anxiety and panic disorder has been out of control. I'm currently on Cymbalta, which is working it's magic slowly (I just started about a month ago) and has gotten me progressively better since I started taking it, but I am still having bouts of panic attacks here and there. I notice that mostly it's when my back pain (I have sciatica, a misalignment in my thoracic spine) and IBS act up that it triggers me to freak out, causing me to go into my hypochondria mode, leading me to search Google for endless hours, trying to figure out if I'm dying from some God awful disease or cancer. I'm mentally exhausted from it, especially today since I started having this pain I have sometimes in my lower quadrant, yet again. My thoughts have gone directly to the thought that I have ovarian cancer, and that there could be no other answer. I'm tired of thinking irrational and freaking myself out, but I'm so good at it, that it seems I can't stop. I took half a Klonopin, but to no prevail is it letting up. I got my blood work done a few weeks back, everything came back good except that my sodium is two notches higher then normal. I also got my urine and feces tested, all good as well. I go to a chiropractor three times a week and he assures me that I'm fine, and that I don't have some neurological disorder. Though the doctors have eased my worrisome thoughts somewhat, I'm still obviously worrying about other aches and pains. If it wasn't for the Cymbalta taking away the majority of my back pain, I think I'd be in a nut house. LOL. Anyways, to end my rant, I was wondering if there is a chat on here that I can talk one on one with. I'm trying to think rationally and not freak out, but my mind keeps flooding with "what if's". I'll be looking into the forums and speaking there as well, but I'd definitely appreciate if someone could calm me down a bit right now, and help me stop thinking like Impending doom is inevitable. Thanks!