I was off my medication due to pregnancy but i lost my baby. my boyfriend knows i have been depressed since our lose but i am not making him aware of how bad it is getting for me... I have started cutting myself again... and i am very scared of myself but i NEED to cut... i know if i go to the doctors i can get help and medication can be given to assist me... but i am scared because if my boyfriend finds out that i needed my medication and hurt myself he will more then likely have me hospitalized again... he has done it in the past to protect me from myself... but i don't want to go back there... i know i need the medication but i am scared.... i just want to cut and make everything go away... i want to get the help but i just feel like i want to kill myself so i can be with my baby... i need to go get back on the medication so bad but i don't know how to tell my boyfriend i need to go to the doctors without telling him of what i have been doing to myself... i want the help but then again i do not maybe i should just let everyone think i am fine and the cutting will be enough to help me... but i dont know anymore...