We have been seeing each other for 4 months and at the start she showed no signs although there were a couple of occasions were she found it hard going in the car to get to places but nothing major. However a month ago she had to get her lift to stop and she walked home, it was the first bad attack she'd had in nearly a year. Up until that point I never realized how serious her problem was. Since then she has really went into her shell and has told me she wants to deal with this by herself. She has told me she can't cope with a relationship until this is sorted out. I have fully respected her decision and have only begun to see how bad it has got, I've told her I will give her all the space she needs in the hope that she can get better and when it does I will be waiting for her.
She has been referred to a counsellor and I'm really hoping this will help her but I know that it may take time. It's frustrating because only now do I understand how bad it must really be and I admire her bravery because she gets in her car every day and goes to work and doesn't make a big deal about it. It's hard for her to talk about it because it's so frustrating for her trying to convey what it feels like but I read a good one that said "its like a woman describing to a man what it's like to be pregnant".
I love this girl to bits and really want to tell her that I understand her fears and to let her know that she is free to express it as she chooses and that when she needs to withdraw then I'm fine with that as she does have moments were it gets bad. I understand now that when she says she wants to go home thats what she means and no one is going to change her mind in fact trying to persuade her only builds up the anxiety.
We still hang out and this is the second breakup we've had this month it just seems that since this has all happened she has bad days were she wants to break it off and good days like today were we have been in contact a lot making plans for the weekend. This week has actually been a good one with her she has been taking her beta blockers which seem to help and the doctor gave her antidepressants because last week she was going nuts with it. I'm fully behind her but it's hard because I know it could take along time for her to get back to being the really happy girl I knew....it's like she woke up one morning and a switch had went off with regards to us.
So what I want to ask is there any advice people can give me? Is it common for you to go into your own world and push loved ones away? Because I have all the patience in the world to help her with this I just hope that she can get on top of it not only for her but for us as well.
Also I wanna introduce myself on this and also say to everyone that's going through something similar my heart really goes out to you all!