I used to joke about being a hypochondriac. "Oh, ha, maybe I have this". I HATE myself for doing that, now. As soon as I started having panic attacks, I (like most people, I think) developed a fear of heart attacks... but now it's just developing into something so, so much worse. The SECOND I feel something slightly off with my body, I panic. I become completely consumed by the idea that I have some horrible disease. I can usually talk myself out of going to the doctor/hospital... but have definitely been there a few more times than a normal person would. Last week, I was positive that I had appendicitis, and spent two days sobbing in my room. Despite the fact that I have had my period regularly, I am constantly worried that I am pregnant. I just feel such fear all the time. I want to think about something other than being sick. And I want my fear of being sick to stop causing me to have panic attacks. This is an awful cycle, and awful way of thinking, and I just want to stop. I feel insane. I'm studying to become a psychologist... I'm supposed to help people like this, not be completely consumed by it, myself.